Friday, November 2, 2012

new blog

Read my new blog, I bought an ugly house!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Some wedding photos!

In no particular order...

All photos courtesy of Brett Szemple (

Don't waste the applesauce

My husband hates wasting anything. He also has a hard time throwing things away. He will eat food that looks beyond questionable for the sake of not being wasteful (leftover meat that's been sitting in the fridge for a couple weeks, moldy bread (he removes the mold first), pig intestine soup in Romania (that story requires a separate post), the Indian food that gave me food poisoning the week before, etc.). We blame his guilt over wasting food on his German heritage.

[Some other traits that can be attributed to his German heritage. His:

  • love of soccer

  • love of sausage

  • urge to climb to the highest point in a city

  • urge to climb in general

  • extreme sweatiness

  • need to have a starch at every meal

  • lederhosen]

Not long ago, he bought a giant jar of applesauce. So giant, that as he neared the bottom of the jar, it became impossible to reach the applesauce at the bottom. Yesterday morning, I noticed that the jar of applesauce was sitting upside down on the kitchen counter and that a good amount of applesauce had made its way toward the top of the jar. German ingenuity, I thought.

A little while later, he came into the bedroom, clutching his stomach. "I don't feel so well," he said. This is rare. He almost always feels well. I think it's because his nose hairs are so thick and abundant, no germ could ever make its way up there.

"What happened?"

"I had decided to make a breakfast that was fruit, starch, and dairy. Microwaved peaches, cereal and yogurt. The bag of cereal was almost empty, so I just dumped the rest in the bowl. The first few bites were really good, except for one thing. My ratio of starch to fruit and yogurt was too high. There was too much cereal. So I added three more scoops of yogurt. But to add more fruit, I would have to use another dish to microwave it.

"Then I noticed the upside down jar of applesauce on the counter. Applesauce could be my additional fruit, I thought. So I opened the jar and applesauce spilled all over the counter. Some applesauce made it into the bowl, but a lot of applesauce was still stuck in the jar, even after vigorously shaking the jar in an attempt to extract it.

"I started to rinse out the jar to put it in the recycling bin, but as I was filling the jar with water, I realized what a shame it was to waste all the applesauce stuck in the jar. The watery substance in the jar looked like apple cider. After rinsing all the applesauce from the sides of the jar, I decided that I should drink it.

"Now, this was a very wide jar of applesauce, and it contained more liquid than I had imagined. After my first giant swig of murky applesauce water, I came to two realizations. One, it didn't taste good. Two, I would need to take at least three more giant swigs to finish it off. The second swig was not only far from satisfying; it was downright disgusting. My stomach was starting to feel full. After the third swig, I didn't even want to finish my bowl of cereal, yogurt, and peaches. But since I started this job, I knew I would have to finish it. I took one last enormous swig of applesauce water. The jar was empty and I was able to put it in the recycling bin.

"I leaned over the sink to digest for a moment, then turned to my perfectly proportioned bowl of cereal, fruit, and yogurt. It was delicious. But now my stomach hurts."

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Soccer is so damn trendy

Going to watch soccer at a bar. It's too nice out to watch soccer at a bar, though. The husband wins this time.

Monday, July 4, 2011

my [____]

This morning I proudly announced to my husband, "Today I will do nothing." At first he didn't believe me, but it's 7:30 PM and I have remained true to my word. He suggested grocery shopping. I said we've been together for the past [pause] five years and that he could stand to grocery shop without me. He suggested swimming. That got shot down, too. How about cooking dinner? Nope. When I say that I will do nothing, I mean it. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet today. Good thing my husband loves me.

For some reason, I thought about how myspace was sold recently for very cheap and decided to log on and see what it looks like nowadays. Of course I forgot my password, so after some clicking around and password resetting, I wound up on my[____] which is just so damn clever. My last log in was February 29, 2008.

I found old blog posts, and in the spirit of not leaving my tiny apartment today, I shall post some highlights here.

(1) What to do when terrorists attack! (this was my 2/29/08 post)

(2) Bubble Wrap (2/3/08)

AND NEVERMIND. Copy/paste doesn't seem to work here. Technology is not my friend. Instead I spent an hour copying and pasting from my[____] onto a Word document. There are some funny ones, I swear, like the time R found chocolate in the street that looked like it got run over by a truck, took a bite, brought it home, refrigerated it, and munched on it for the next week. Or the hard boiled egg/strawberry flavored milk incident. Or the time I almost got caught in the crossfire of police chasing a miscreant down Magazine Street. One day, when the technology gods are smiling at me, I'll figure out how to move them to here. Or not.

In the meantime, R got sick of doing nothing and went to the grocery store. I feel like I won. The contest. That he didn't even know we were having.

Happy America Day! R and I are banking on seeing fireworks from our balcony.

Mah O Mah, How Things Have Changed

Why is it so damn hard to upload pictures? Two years later and things still haven't improved? Double-you tee eff.

In no particular order:

Moved to "the District." Kinda hate it.

Understand all that fuss about cherry blossoms, though.



Ripped apart the road map.

Took a terribly timed trip to San Antonio. Liked the fish.

Went to North Carolina; had a good time in spite of this photograph.

Got hitched (wore $9 clearance rack yellow shoes).

Found a perfect strawberry.

Lounged around.

Passed through Transylvania, Louisiana and thought about Andrei Coudrescu.

Kayaked to Horn Island, Mississippi.

Witnessed such awe-inspiring things as butterfly bushes, show-off dolphins, shooting stars, and alligator tracks.

Thursday, August 20, 2009