Friday, November 2, 2012
Sunday, September 25, 2011
[Some other traits that can be attributed to his German heritage. His:
- love of soccer
- love of sausage
- urge to climb to the highest point in a city
- urge to climb in general
- extreme sweatiness
- need to have a starch at every meal
Not long ago, he bought a giant jar of applesauce. So giant, that as he neared the bottom of the jar, it became impossible to reach the applesauce at the bottom. Yesterday morning, I noticed that the jar of applesauce was sitting upside down on the kitchen counter and that a good amount of applesauce had made its way toward the top of the jar. German ingenuity, I thought.
A little while later, he came into the bedroom, clutching his stomach. "I don't feel so well," he said. This is rare. He almost always feels well. I think it's because his nose hairs are so thick and abundant, no germ could ever make its way up there.
"I had decided to make a breakfast that was fruit, starch, and dairy. Microwaved peaches, cereal and yogurt. The bag of cereal was almost empty, so I just dumped the rest in the bowl. The first few bites were really good, except for one thing. My ratio of starch to fruit and yogurt was too high. There was too much cereal. So I added three more scoops of yogurt. But to add more fruit, I would have to use another dish to microwave it.
"Then I noticed the upside down jar of applesauce on the counter. Applesauce could be my additional fruit, I thought. So I opened the jar and applesauce spilled all over the counter. Some applesauce made it into the bowl, but a lot of applesauce was still stuck in the jar, even after vigorously shaking the jar in an attempt to extract it.
"I started to rinse out the jar to put it in the recycling bin, but as I was filling the jar with water, I realized what a shame it was to waste all the applesauce stuck in the jar. The watery substance in the jar looked like apple cider. After rinsing all the applesauce from the sides of the jar, I decided that I should drink it.
"Now, this was a very wide jar of applesauce, and it contained more liquid than I had imagined. After my first giant swig of murky applesauce water, I came to two realizations. One, it didn't taste good. Two, I would need to take at least three more giant swigs to finish it off. The second swig was not only far from satisfying; it was downright disgusting. My stomach was starting to feel full. After the third swig, I didn't even want to finish my bowl of cereal, yogurt, and peaches. But since I started this job, I knew I would have to finish it. I took one last enormous swig of applesauce water. The jar was empty and I was able to put it in the recycling bin.
"I leaned over the sink to digest for a moment, then turned to my perfectly proportioned bowl of cereal, fruit, and yogurt. It was delicious. But now my stomach hurts."
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Happy America Day! R and I are banking on seeing fireworks from our balcony.
In no particular order: